Why saying “DDS KA PA RIN?” is counterproductive

In the middle of heated debates on Government decisions amid a pandemic is not where we want to be, but here we are.

Social media use is in its all-time high, with most of the Filipino citizens still on home quarantine despite the GCQ transition.

Internet Trolling - Media Ethnography - Medium

And naturally, social media feeds get flooded easily with “humble opinions,” especially on recent news claiming that “the President only needs to sign the Terror Bill for it to become law.”

Of course, people who have read it will say it’s poorly written. Of course, most people have not read it and, therefore, don’t know anything about it.

Carpio: Once a law, anti-terror bill can be questioned in court ...

We understand that we need to make our voice heard. Someone needs to speak up and fight for our rights as a nation.

However, signing off every post with “DDS KA PA RIN?” and its demeaning versions is, in fact, counterproductive and bluntly put, irritating no matter how right we are. It doesn’t help us get our valid points across.

I am not in Government, nor am I a lawyer. But I did study Communications.

From what I learned (please correct me when wrong, but I hope you won’t condemn me), we communicate for a goal. We write with intent.

And here I am asking what goal do we get when degrading/belittling our friends (take note our readers are our network of friends and their friends) when we say “OPOSISYON KA?” “NEUTRAL KA?” “UNFRIEND ME NOW” or in influencer terms “UNFOLLOW ME.”

What do we gain? What is our objective? Do we hope that these people will look down on themselves and realize, “How stupid have I been for being a supporter of the government.” I guarantee 100% you don’t get to change their minds. If anything, most of them will even cling harder to their beliefs.

  (… a harsh word stirs up anger. Prov 15:1)

We all get it. We are tired of the hullabaloos of the Government. They have been corrupting our funds and misleading us for years. The Philippines has remained poor, especially on opinion-generation, because a lot of the poor don’t get a proper education. Maraming issues. (Sobrang dami.)

But isn’t our goal supposed to be pro-Pinoys? Pro-relationships? Pro-friends? Pro-Philippines? (the context is different from the kama-“kamaganak sa gobyerno.”) 

That’s why we are fighting to voice our opinions because we want to help fellow poor Pinoys, do we not? If so, why condemn friends who clearly are in the wrong mindset in the present?

We can be proactive and reactive without being destructive. Years ago, during the presidential elections of 2016, I voted for Miriam. But the election was clearly a toss between Duterte and Roxas. At first, I wanted to be strategic and vote for Mar instead. But because *I changed my mind* a few days before, I opted for Madam. 

I didn’t agree with Duterte’s kill platform, and I made sure my opinion on this was heard even at the height of his drug war where innocent civilians are killed daily. I felt smart. I felt empathetic. I thought I am promoting the rights of the Filipinos during those days.

However, as things progressed (read: as I grew older haha) I realized social media should be off-limits to toxic levels of public opinions, especially when it came to destroying friendships.

I never criticized my DDS friends then, but I do remember that I had a slightly different opinion with my husband back then.

How Happy Couples Argue: Study Reveals Key To Fighting Without ...

But a political disagreement shouldn’t be a cause for broken relationships, right? (Unless I don’t value relationships at all.) So we adapted the mindset “better to be kind than to be right,” instead. Because in reality, circumstances change, and people’s opinions change through the seasons as well. We can always correct them with love, not through demeaning words.

What we wrote on our Twitter accounts in the past may no longer be the truth today. Who we were on our highschool yearbooks may not be who we are anymore, today. People grow. We learn.

10 Incredible Before & After Transformations Of People - YouTube
People change!

And imagine being condemned for an opinion we had in the past. (Unless again of course, if we didn’t learn and still make the same mistake today, but even so, it’s no excuse to kill off people we don’t agree with.)

So how do we approach friends who don’t think like we do today?

Again, speak the truth and educate IN LOVE = Gently, humbly, with no anger or condemnation. In the event that no agreement is met, always think of others before yourself.

Post your causes, drop the destructive clauses.


 “Junk terror bill! Our president needs to prioritize the safety of more Filipinos!”

“Junk terror bill. It’s not the time!”

“NO TO ABS CBN Shutdown. The president cannot curb free speech!”

“Black lives matter!! We are all humans!”


 “I AM AGAINST THE TERROR BILL! (Legit cause) Yung mga pro-duterte kong friends masaya kayo sa nangyayari?!(destructive clause)”

“NASAAN ANG PERA NG BAYAN!! (Legit cause) Di ko alam sa mga bobong dilawan. Hindi pa namumulat sa katotohanan. (destructive clause) “

“No to ABS CBN shutdown! (Legit cause). Wala kayong pinagaralan kung natutuwa kayo! Sabagay hindi niyo sila naiintindihan kasi mayaman kayo! (destructive clause)”

Other destructive opinions:

 “Puro kayo Netflix! Wala kayong pakialam sa bayan!”

“Puro kayo tiktok bakit hindi kayo tumulong??”

These are dangerous accusations because it cancels the fact that some people cope with the pandemic differently. Some people help offline. 🙂

Do you see the difference?

Even when engaging with healthy online discussions with people, always choose the gentler words. And if still in disagreement, maybe end it with “Ok, praying we see the truth in all these eventually.”

Friends, what is our goal? Is it to improve the government/the country/the world? Or to instigate hate?

Sharing here an article I saw from FORBES. com about how to state an opinion without being opinionated.

It’s more for leadership, but we could learn a thing or two for our online behaviors. 🙂

1. Ground your thoughts in facts.

 2. Use concrete words.

 3. Speak firmly, not necessarily loudly.

 4. Ask questions, and listen to others.

 5. Look at the person.

 6. Don’t be a contrarian for the sake of being a contrarian.

 7. Speak first and last.

Let’s practice holding our own tongues and fighting fairly. Just my humble opinion.

Love, Jazz.

Don’t aim for “jowable”

In a quick google search I learned, that to be “Jowable” one must be able to know how to have fun, take good Instagram photos, and be a good conversationalist.


And we wonder why so many “jowable” men and women get hurt badly.

Imagine feeding this kind of information to your curious 13-year old kids who don’t know a thing yet about love and relationships?


When I was a kid myself (LOLOLOL), I used to look up to showbiz couples who seem to have everything good going on in their lives.

Felt kilig even to a point of wanting that same kind of relationship.

Until finally, when I entered my first relationship as a young adult, I thought to myself, “Why doesn’t it feel like the one I see in the movies?”



Where’s the slow motion effect with amazing cinematography? (Only Erwan could do that to Anne I guess, :p).

Point is, sometimes we think we know a lot based on what we see and hear on TV or online. And here’s where I hope to step in.

Dear little brothers and sisters, to my single friends, and to my son Zach,

“Don’t aim for jowable.”


Don’t aim to be just handsome or pretty externally. Or to have a lot of awards and be well-versed with words.

Looks and awards don’t mean you are qualified to be jowable, more so, become a jowa. Nor will it define yourself as a person.


Aim to be VALUABLE, instead.

  1. Remember who you are.

This isn’t some Jedi thing or rags to riches story. But we all have one genetic makeup when we are born.

And at this age, I advise that you desperately seek for that one solid truth that will help you understand your most important role in this life.

And that is, to become a valuable addition to anyone’s life. 

Sometimes, when we feel like we’re in love, we lose ourselves to that feeling completely. We feel like giving our best, our all, our time, our effort.

Until one day, that feeling leaves us and we’re left thinking what on earth were we thinking?! ☺️

Nothing wrong with giving our all for love; if we truly know how to love. Because true love is not just about feelings. Mostly, it’s about commitment and action.

Want to prove that someone loves you?

Look for acts of love such as: Planning ahead. Staying (not ghosting). Intentionally cutting off communication with exes, staying true to one’s word, etc. 

You would know when someone is truly loving you when he/she has that vision of a future and clear idea on how to get there – with you.

2. Be happily single first.

As in happy even if you have NO jowa.

Processed with VSCO with m5 preset

Who you are today will determine what you will become tomorrow.

If even at the very beginning you’re already rude and resentful, what makes you think you will become an ideal husband or wife?

Focus on yourself first and outgrow those negative features. 😉

3. Serve with all your heart

No matter what season you are in right now – in school as a student, at the office as an employee, at home as a wife or a houseband, at work as a businessman, serve your community with pure intentions.

Never aim to scam anyone with words and deeds and all your heart’s desires will eventually be given to you.

Yes, (to the singles), even the wife or the husband you pray for.

4. Be gentle and kind

Gentleness and kindness are two things that will never fade. Even if beauty fades.

This also goes both ways, be gentle and kind to yourself and to others.

I learned this the hard way. And I admit I still struggle in this area of my life. But I have also accepted that heeding to this command will never be easy.

Because it’s not natural to think of others first. Have you considered it being supernatural instead? 😉

5. Welp here it is, LOVE GOD FIRST.

If we anchor our lives to God, nothing can break us. Not our jowas, not our husbands.

And while our young, rebellious hearts could not fathom the idea that he says NO to our current crushes because he’s protecting us, one day we’ll realize that he truly is.

Start talking to Him about your relationship plans today.



Again, to my SINGLE girl/boy friends, Zach, aim to be VALUABLE.

For my girl friends who JUST GOT MARRIED and wondering why you’re having a difficult time, here’s how to be wifeable (aka how to walk the wife path that God designed.)



My pahabol blog post for hearts month. 🙂

All these advise, are biblical based. 🙂 Even if you believe in God or not, or no matter which church you attend, nothing can change these truths. #trot

But fret not, if you are in a relationship right now, begin submitting it to God in your prayers, every day of your life.

Nothing’s too wrong, too broken, too late not to fix. 



Let’s talk about anger and temper

In a span of a few hours this morning, I’ve already felt a roller coaster of emotions. From being eager to come to work despite the thunderstorm, to being grateful for my husband for driving me, to impatiently waiting at the line in the MRT up to losing my temper over an insensitive couple within the car.

How can one person transition from being ‘best behaved’ to the ‘notorious tita in public transportation’ in such short a time?

Yesterday at church, the pastor talked about all sorts of things including having a “double life.”

“Don’t fool yourselves,” he says. “Don’t live a life that is good outwardly but you have a secret life when you’re all alone.”

Am I living a double life? I strive to study God’s words but sometimes fail in my deeds. Not a proud moment. No justification there.

But the pastor also says… although Christianity doesn’t give us the license to sin, as humans, sometimes we fall. We feel trapped and we find ourselves slipping and swiveling down rock bottom.

But the beauty of this is that we can always set our eyes back to Jesus. Consider our sins, repent and ask for forgiveness to strive to become better the next time. And by God’s grace, fully turn away from sin.

We also ought to know our weaknesses and protect ourselves against it. For instance, if I know I hate the crowd, I could have just waited for the next train than squeeze myself into a full car. Pro-activeness is key. :))

Looking back, I learned that I reacted the way I did because I felt inconvenienced. I made the situation about myself instead of thinking they’re having a difficult time too.

I could have also gotten help from a verse:

Proverbs 19:11 The Passion Translation (TPT)

11 A wise person demonstrates patience,
for mercy means holding your tongue.
When you are insulted,
be quick to forgive and forget it,

How do you deal with such situations – where you need the Holy Spirit but forget to call on Him?

We don’t want a double life. Let’s find out together.


Are We Worshiping Our Sexuality? #PrideMonth — BeautyBeyondBones

First things first: I have a new video up! Yall sent in some really POWERFUL questions — especially about dealing with triggering people in recovery! It’s definitely worth a watch! (If I do say so myself!) OK ONTO TONIGHT’S POST! Well, in case you’re locked in a bunker somewhere and don’t know…it’s Pride Month. I’m…

via Are We Worshiping Our Sexuality? #PrideMonth — BeautyBeyondBones

The 5 Dangers of Truthless Rock and Roll

There are movies that make us go aww and wah and there are those we just need to blog about because of so many thoughts that need discussion. Such is the movie A Star Is Born by Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga.

This is the third remake, which means the story has reached generations of viewers who have been fed lies from the film. Don’t get me wrong. I did like the film and even got “kilig” with the idea of love amidst the noise and fame of rock and roll.

Sure I may have shared its heart-gripping clip of “Always Remember Us This Way” when it appeared on my Facebook feed even before I’ve seen the film – totally great performance by Gaga and all  — but I want to discuss more of the movie’s relationship, marriage, and ‘true happiness’ angle.

Jackson (Bradley Cooper) is a successful rockstar who met aspiring singer Ally (Gaga – the star that was born). In the beginning, Gaga was wise enough to tell his dad “F off, he’s a drunk. I don’t want to go with him” when Cooper invited her to a major gig. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be with successful hottie rockstar right? But she knew. From the beginning, she knew how drunks are and it’s not pretty.

But of course, when we’re in the moment.. like hot with adrenaline, power, and lust for change in our lives, we follow our hearts, right?

So she ties up her brain to a chair, takes that plane trip that will change her life forever. As you know, she sang her original song from the first concert, had sex with Jack on the first night, landed her own gigs herself, made a name for herself, married Jack and wow.. they lived happily ever after. Am I right?


“The heart is deceitful above all things
And it is extremely sick;
Who can understand it fully and know its secret motives?” (Jeremiah 17:9)

The impulsive shopper has her own regrets – what more the impulsive lover?

DID YOU KNOW that about 14 Million Filipinos are Single Parents and about 50% of children born in the Philippines (2015 PSA Report) are Illegitimate. This number rises every year. And media and social media is making it seem like a normal thing.

What is the reason for this continuous rise of unmarried men and women who fail to believe in commitment or fail to plan for the future? Their hearts are sick.

They may have believed that at one point, having sex with someone is the answer to their problems. Or that they got involved in the wrong relationship in the first place. Some who did get to marriage eventually separate because they fail to recognize the truth in the roles of true husband and wife.


The danger of going with someone who is dependent on drugs and alcohol instead of God is very real. Those who are wise enough to spot this from the very beginning is saved from all the trouble.

A wise, shrewd person discerns the danger ahead
and prepares himself,
but the naïve simpleton never looks ahead
and suffers the consequences. (Proverbs 27:12-14)

Sometimes when all the noise of the present is too loud it clouds the real deal. The truth that what we may be feeling now isn’t exactly the right thing.


DID YOU KNOW that more than 50% of people who marry end up filing for annulment in the Philippines. And a law firm claims that a whopping 94% of these filed cases get approved. These are just the reported cases. There are more married couples that separate who opt not to file for divorce or annulment anymore.


If you are not bothered by this then well, let’s pray for eyes that see and hearts that hear. This is an alarming number and could be one of the biggest insults thrown at a sacrament as valuable as marriage.

Sometimes, single men and women get too excited to marry thinking that they’d finally be saved from their own broken families, problematic parents, sadness, feeling of being alone, work, or monotony in life. But when finally they get married they realize it’s better and feels happier to be single all over again.


WHY? Because we’ve been wired to believe in the lies of Same Day Edits where family and friends gather in beautiful gowns and tux. Great food is served and the unli booze bar is opened. But what we don’t know is that it takes a lot more to make a marriage work. And the truth is, we can’t rely on our own expectations or on our own self when we want a marriage to work.

It’s purely a spiritual union, designed by only God himself. So if you don’t believe in God then marriage on our own terms can’t save it. Who we are even before we get married plays a huge role in what kind of marriage we’re going to run.

Are we even willing to give up our own addictions for the growth of our marriage?

Jack is an example of a character who may be dwelling in the past for too long and relying on drugs and love for a better version of himself. Sure, he loved that she was a singer and a songwriter. He got excited about her talent. But he could have done more. No amount of success could help a person unless he denies this success and acknowledges that he is poor. And that he needs help.

In fairness, he did try. He checked in on rehab which could have been a start. But his healing was not complete. Which leads us to number 3.


This part is the one I hate the most. A person who is clearly of course just doing his job, STAR MANAGER Rafi Gavron approaches Jackson in his own home; catches him straight outta rehab, happy and smiling with a bright disposition almost ready to move on from an embarrassing mistake.


Gavron then destroys this fresh beginning by telling him that other people are displeased with what he’s done to Ally’s career. That she continues to embarrass herself by staying married to him. That he was the reason for derailing HER CAREER. A career she’s willing to give up just to be with him. But to someone else (or the world) who’s just there to watch, it’s “an embarassment”. 

People, (let me just calm myself down), what right do we have to get involved in someone’s marriage like this? This goes out to all couples who are married and struggling. Yes, husbands and wives have their own shortcomings. But stay out of the way especially when the news we have is only self-serving.

This goes out to everyone who may have good intentions but who do not understand marriage. In-laws, friends, officemates, churchmates, random grab driver. Always, when people seek advice, the first thing to do is tell them to DISCUSS WITH THEIR PARTNERS FIRST.

And this is the reason why married couples are advised against getting advise from other people. BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS, there’s no better advice than what the bible says.

“What God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Mark 10:9)

If we know and believe this truth, that couple could always come through every problem stronger together.

IF ONLY Jackson Maine fed on the word instead of the world, he could have responded to this moment better. Which leads us to the next….


I just hate how this movie depicted that success onstage means unsuccessful marriage or vice versa. I’m telling you, we can all have successful careers and marriages if only we put our trust in God. But in the event trouble comes, remember that we cannot serve two masters. (Matthew 6:24)

God has warned us to be careful with the desires of this world. Instead, to always check on our hearts.

HOW COME people who chase their dreams sometimes end up sad, depressed or even miserable despite the success in their goals?

Maybe, consider that they’re chasing the wrong dreams?

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. (Proverbs 19:21)

Sometimes, our hearts feel like we want to get married. Or we want to go abroad. Or maybe become a singer, an artist, a lawyer, a husband, a manager, etc.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THESE. But let our plans be approved by God first. The one who determines and blesses our goals in life. Trust that He will guide us along the way – so that in our setbacks, we learn and in our successes, we glorify His name.

The world’s lie is to follow your own plans but God’s truth is, He determines our steps.

“seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)

God will bless our heart’s desires if we seek Him above all.

Lord, will I be glorifying you if I become the President of this company? Will I only be serving my selfish wants when I choose to marry this person? How can I improve my relationship with you so I can be a more responsible adult/wife/husband/boss/employee?

Through this, let Him guide you.


The world’s lie is that there is no God. He cannot be proven. “Unless you prove that a Jesus ever walked the planet, then all these are mere stories for stupid people who are too weak to live life themselves.” This is a real comment I found on the Internet one day. And I’m not gonna lie, it did affect me. It prompted me to search for more.

But just looking at the reality of life today… some people who don’t believe in the change and the blessings that God has planned their way end up turning to drugs, isolation, sadness, and suicide to cure their problems.

In my understanding of the Bible, proof of the kingdom of God lies in us. We cannot say today, God if you are real, part the red sea.. take out the trash and let us live a billion years more.

While it’s true that he’s always watching us, we need to do our part to effect His power in our lives.

The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. (Psalm 148:18)

We need to acknowledge Him first. Call on him and ask Him to come to us in spirit.

While Peter was still speaking these words, the Holy Spirit came on all who heard the message. (Acts 10:44)

In the movie, just right before Jack killed himself, Ally was seen and heard praying for her husband. She’s a faithful girl I can see. But it could have helped if she understood her role as a wife and became more intentional in sharing the gospel to his husband earlier on. Instead, she’s been busy chasing the wrong purpose. (More about this on the next blog.)

What’s the point here? God is very real but his reality appears on changed hearts. Hearts that choose to follow Him and effect His message into the world. Faith is nothing without action. In other words, we need to werk gerl!


Jackson had faith. He did. But he needed someone to help him acknowledge that the pain or the sorrow he’s been feeling for a long time towards his father or his brother could be surrendered to someone more powerful than he is. He needed someone to tell him that his wife was a blessing from God designed to help him in all his ways. That their marriage is special and that no amount of fame could ever replace that kind of special union.

He needed to hear the truth that one embarrassing mistake doesn’t mean the end. It doesn’t mean he failed his wife. If only he had someone or a group to support him to know God better, maybe, he could have realized that his wife’s forgiveness is far more important than other people’s expectations of him. That he can rise above this through the grace of Christ from whom all power overflows. 

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 43:3)

There are some things that we cannot explain. That is why it’s called FAITH. It’s always a leap. It’s believing that something does exist despite the reasoning and the lack of proof.

Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God. (Matthew 5:8)

Sometimes, children believe in things that encourage them to dream and become the best version of themselves. The Bible promises that if we become like a child with a pure heart, we will see God in this world.

You may be thinking: HEY JAZZ YOU ARE AWARE THAT THIS IS JUST A MOVIE RIGHT? WHAT’s WITH THE MADNESS? Lols. Na-carried away lang kaw naman. 😀

Baka lang kasi, if I could help in the discussion of the film, we could focus on the one thing that happened in your life, during a troubled or a blessed time, that you can give God the credit for. And be the witness to His truth.

Jack and Ally could have been the perfect couple. Talented, ambitious, rich, famous, and they had each other. They were almost complete. But one thing is lacking – the strength of the spirit.

Rocking and rolling life away is great but the path is dangerous for those who don’t recognize the truth and our purpose.

What do you think of this movie and this danger list I shared? Message me or comment!

Testifying vs. humble bragging.

Perhaps the most common problem Christians face today is being thought a braggart in the midst of sharing God’s goodness and grace to others.

If becoming a witness is what we’re called to do, then at the expense of being dubbed a hypocrite, a perfect person (perfect ka eh), jollibee (bida bida ka ba), or a humble bragger, we continue helping out spiritually.


Recently, I just appreciated the message in giving. I’ve always skimped on money, reveling in the fake assurance that keeping all the money for me to selfishly use anytime could make me feel safe and happy.

I failed to realize that everything I have come from God – He who gives. And so, I started believing in tithing. The amount that could have been used for some personal whim, I give cheerfully to church, an instrument of hope and salvation to other people.


Little did I expect that this small gesture of giving allowed my heart to help others financially as well. Without greed or malice or the feeling of being cheated on. I am also able to make financial decisions based on my faith and not let money or lack of it dictate my life. And as alive as God is, I never ran out of money since. God has known exactly what I need and has been providing everything since.

So one day I shared this amazing discovery to a friend, in good faith, saying how tithing has helped me in the past months. But in an awkward response, there was silence.

I would never know for sure how he took it. But I, later on, realized that I must have sounded like a boast. At first, it made me feel bad. But I also thought I couldn’t keep silent especially when someone asks for advice and I am experiencing the answer every day.

So for the purpose of discussion, I have made a table of comparison to better help us

1. check ourselves each time we testify to others and

2. Check others when they testify to us.


Until today, I hear some people think of me as, in Pinoy term, “Plastik.” And for a moment my wild self thought about being offended. And then I realized, “Who am I?” I am nobody. If I were “plastik” then I’m a plastik dust (Genesis 3:19) Haha.

Then it made me calm. Truly, God’s peace surpasses all human hurt and our own understanding (Philippians 4:7)

It doesn’t matter what people call me. If I were self-conscious I’m only making things about me when it’s really about Christ. (John 3:30)


Also, through this, I am always reminded to check on myself. I am not perfect, I fall every day. But I try and there’s no turning back (except for this photo). God has been gracious.

Have you ever felt judged because of the messages you share with pure intent? If so, do you think we’re doing something wrong? How could we improve and be more sensitive to other’s current perception?

5 Prayers to Pray For Your Husband

These prayers give us wives the best words to pray to God for our husbands. Because we love them completely and are only after their growth and joy, and we think about them every day, I’m sharing with you these beautiful words written by Tish Hedger.

1. Strength in the midst of discouragement

Lord, I pray that my husband would turn immediately to you when discouragement steals into his heart and mind. I pray his reflex would be to remember that his High Priest sympathizes with his every weakness. May your compassion usher him into your throne room that he might find mercy and help in his time of need. God, use every heartbreak, disappointment, and stress to pull him into greater intimacy with you. May discouragement give way to worship as he boasts in you only.

2. Vision to see

Christ, be my husband’s vision when life feels tedious and his days are long. Enable him to find joy and fulfillment in what you have called him to today. Help him not be distracted by regret for yesterday, or with longing for tomorrow. May his sense of identity be in the son-ship that you have purchased on the cross. And may he measure his success by his obedience and heart’s submission to you alone.

3. Peace that guards

Jesus, give my husband boldness to believe your forgiveness, a willing heart to repent, and peace to rest in your finished work. I pray that your peace would guard him in you every time the enemy or his heart rises up to accuse him. May he find comfort as he remembers that you stand in his defense before the Father every day interceding on his behalf. I pray you would teach him how to keep his mind steadfastly on you so that your peace would guard his heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

4. Power in temptation

Lord, would you deliver my husband from every evil tactic and trap of the enemy. I pray that he would walk in your power as he resists temptation. When exhaustion, stress, or distraction make him more vulnerable to temptation, give him discernment to be watchful over his eyes, mind, and heart. I pray that when the enemy seeks to isolate and harass him with shame, the truth of his righteousness would protect him. And I pray that he would not be led off by the pride of life or the lust of the eyes but that he would resist Satan, submit to you, and stand firm.

5. Joy

Christ, return to him the joy of his salvation. I pray that in life he would not forget the joy of being your son, the fun of being on adventure with you, and his eternal hope of glory. May this joy daily recount your goodness and faithfulness. I pray he would know the soul’s contentment that comes from trusting in you. I pray his joy would help him seize every opportunity for laughter and lightness of heart. May the joy of the Lord be his strength today.

In other news: Man told to carry his weight.

People of the world, there is an urgent need for all of us to be mindful of others.

A while ago, I hopped onto the train fully aware, equipped, and prepared for the usual crowded experience as it were also rush hour. This means, I try my best to make room for more people, who also need to be on time for work like me.

As the train filled quickly, I was standing in the middle of the aisle. Then I noticed a person who, upon entering the doors proceeded to demand quite loudly that we move further down the lane when it was visually evident that there was no more room to move into. “We just have to make do with where we are” I thought.

Finally, as the train moved forward, he quietly stood beside me and proceeded to taking out his mobile phone to play a game. Which was OKAY until it became an inconvenience to everyone.

As the train made stops and the crowd grew bigger, I have observed how this man managed to shake his head each time he was pushed a little by the eager commuters but never did he take off his hands and eyes on his phone, in the middle of a jam packed        situation, right in the moment we needed him the most. LOL!

In short, we all had to carry him! He made his weight fluctuate left and right like a bouncing ball when he could have simply grabbed on any railing available – just as what everyone else was doing.

Finally, when the crowd subsided a little in Ortigas station, this same man had the gall to express his thoughts on his own inconvenience, again loudly for all of us to hear. That’s the time I spoke up to say the truth.

“Kinakarga ka po namin. Next time po humawak kayo sa railing. Wag ka muna mag cellphone.” (Next time, don’t hinge your weight on us. You could have just grabbed onto the railing but instead relied on us to carry you.”)

My words were limited and I wish I could have more time to explain. But it is what it is – as clear as day.

Sorry but it had to be me. I had to say it. Though I was fully prepared to carry him all throughout, walang problema, the lack of mindfulness, selfishness, and self-entitlement was too much that he needed someone to tell him.

I am unsure at first if I did the right thing – because as you know, “blessed are the peacemakers.” I could have held my tongue but I also live by “speaking the truth in love” because we’re all responsible for one another. I couldn’t have let the moment pass. We could learn a thing or two from strangers too.

But one thing I’m sure of is that I, 100% wasn’t looking for any trouble. In fact, I spoke the truth out of the intention to help this guy be a more responsible commuter.

It’s not entirely his fault. I understand we are all wired towards our phones and it could be that he couldn’t help it. But what I wish everyone to realize is that we all have to master an intrinsic kind of way to control our behaviors.

We all need to self-reflect sometimes. It is fairly OKAY to use your mobile phones. There are no LAWS banning that. However, it takes a certain amount of wisdom to become discerning or insightful: “Will I be a bother when I pull out my phone on this crowded place?” 

Again, this shoots off to other aspects of our lives:

“Will I bother other people if I put my music on too loudly?”

“Will I be inconveniencing anyone if I block off the air conditioning unit?”

“Will I cause someone a bad day if I just leave my piece of trash on this table?”

Friends, how many of us tie/hold our hair in place, hug our bags, hold onto the railings, give space for people, give up our seats for the elderly etc. during our public commutes — all for the purpose of being less of a bother to our fellow commuters? (Philippians 2:4)

There are lots of things we could ask OURSELVES so that we could come out on the streets more considerate of others.

In fairness, the man did seem to reflect a little on what I said.

Yes, it’s easy to think about our own sake and how hard it already is for us to ride the train, the jeep, the bus. But a little kindness and mindfulness on the needs of other people will not add to our burden.

If there’s a way we could squeeze in a little more to accommodate everyone’s needs then let’s do it. But it takes CONSCIOUSNESS and awareness first.

Oh please, I am not perfect! Haha. I have also been inconsiderate half of my life. But I am happy that God is slowly revealing things to me. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

I still struggle. But I use this blog to share my learning and to come back to it lest I forget in the future.

Ultimately, we pray for the public transportation to finally improve so that no other people be robbed of their peace and personal space during an entirely harmless commute.

Let’s try harder, do better the next time. 🙂

What happens when busy moms decide to meet up with their kids along?

My friend has been on my blog since our outdoorsy, beach, hiking, spelunking, canyoneering and mountain climbing days. Our stories revolved around fun and YOLO – the millennial meaning and implication, yes.

Now she’s back in my blog.. tamed. We both are, not because we lost our natural spunk and spirit but instead, we are now overpowered by two highly-spirited, no-rules-allowed, always giggly and curious little humans we call our kids.


So we meet for “lunch and coffee..” and by the end of it, I post a photo of us on my Facebook.. all smiling, beaming and looking fulfilled. What the camera didn’t catch though are the following:

1. Me almost not making it to the meet-up

Not because I don’t want to meet, but since the beginning of the day, I’ve coordinated with furniture shops (aka Carousell lol), delivery guys, thought about pending articles to send, a class to go to (which I ended up canceling), a party to attend all while doing my laundry pile.

The whole morning went by too fast, and I found myself checking on my phone and saying “What? nandito na agad? What? Nandun na sila? What? 2pm na?” 

2. That moms (and dads) have suddenly developed the skill of talking with no eye-contact

Because the eyes are on the littles, who are running around the restaurant like it’s their home; one kid removed his shoes while the other slumped to the floor like he would on a bed. All while the parents discuss essential stuff like childcare and maybe outdoor schools.

Sometimes our trail of thought gets lost somewhere between airing our novela stories only to fade into the background noise because our minds cannot wander out for too long. Presence of mind (towards the kids mostly) is key.

3. Meeting up was more of a workout due to the number of times we stood up to catch our children

…before they open that door to escape at least. Or before they bother other people dining.

4. That moms shushing and shouting their kids’ names over a room filled with people is real.

I used to think it’s not ok, but when I caught myself doing it, I had to forgive the many parents I judged in the past.

5. The food ordered was for decoration only

Either we (well at least for me) were not hungry, or I didn’t have the time to eat at all because “I have work to do.”

But at the end of the day, we realized that parents who meet should have their own community, ya know? Like a group who perfectly understands the situation of “multi-tasking” while moms try to finish their coffee (while it’s hot = major win).

A team that will give one another the support they will need even during busy schedules. People who know exactly what it feels like to try to come to work with the kids or to meet with single friends who don’t know anything about the little heart jumps we get when we try to take our eyes off the small ones even for a second.

A community who will never judge you like everyone else.

I realized that it helps when moms meet up more! Despite our busy schedule, an hour of talking and catching up could do great wonders in life. Because the kids also have fun with that.

Psalms 127:3
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
The fruit of the womb a reward.

Should you really go and love yourself?

When we are full of ourselves, we miss God’s glory. But how could we tell if we are bound by something not pleasing to God when it looks so simple and harmless, and we do it every day?

As I write this, I wait for the train at the platform. An hour remains before I am considered late for work. Compared with any other day (from the start of the year at least) this has been the latest I’ve waited for the train to come. I usually hop on and get going by 7:30 AM.

What caused this slight time difference is maybe because of the morning ritual that I have at home. I spend more minutes trying to fix my appearance than taking a bath or setting the room because.. I don’t know! To please people I see on the road? To please me and gain false confidence? To.. please my husband? My workmates?


I don’t know why I do it, but I have been bound by it for a long, long time. A decade’s worth that I am even willing to be late for the train than have no brows at all, which is entirely ridiculous because nobody has ever gone out of their way to say Hey! Your eyebrows look gorge today!

But on the other hand, people get recognized by their work, their manners, and their overall work ethics when they aim to arrive at work on time.

Yes, I dare say that coming to work on time is good manners just as dressing well and saying ‘please’ because it’s selfless. You decided to skip the meaningless ritual because people need you early. Work starts early and do we dare steal time from a company who put their trust in us?

This shoots off to even more significant decisions in life. Do we choose a home, a parking slot or a partner in life, based solely on our selfish ambitions?

“I want this home because it’s huge and I could have a large, soft, Instagram-worthy bed here.” Even if it’s a pain to get to.. or is too vast for you to maintain. Are you buying it for the family or only to fulfill a selfish want?

“I will park here because it’s convenient to me. When I’m just going to grab a cup of coffee.” Discounting the fact that you are healthy and able to walk. What if there are families who arrive with small kids and old people?

“I will marry this guy because he is so rich and cute and I would love to have him in selfies from now to forever. Not to mention, have all the Louboutins I want to my grave. Oh wait, I can’t cook, but it’s ok he loves me anyway.” Did we ever consider how he indeed is as a person? How and what could we give him to meet his needs in return? How come some rich and good-looking couples who marry end up divorced?

Even for men, do we court a woman because of our desire to fulfill our personal whims? We marry her no matter our bank savings. Even though we don’t have specific plans for growth? How about her needs?

The bible gave us a warning:

2 Timothy 3: 1-2

“But mark this: There will be terrible things in the last days.

People will be lovers of themselves.”

Friends, how much do we love ourselves compared to how much we love Jesus? I know I have loved myself too much for the longest time and I consider my husband and son as God’s way of directing my eyes away from myself and towards their needs.

Albeit not perfect and I struggle every day, I pray to God to convict my heart and reveal to me the things I do in vain and for selfish goals. He may grant me the wisdom and the humility to change what I can.

“So are you saying it’s EVIL to love myself and dream big for myself and achieve everything I want? Because I deserve it and I worked hard for it?”

No. But do not be deceived. Sometimes we get, sometimes we don’t. But consider everything we have as bestowed by God’s grace and blessings.

(REF: Philippians 2:3-4 and Psalm 34:7)

Have you thought about your family, friends, work, and workmates today? More deeply, have you given thought and prayer for the world today? How can we deny ourselves, have more of God in our lives, and be a blessing to others?

Let me pray for you: May God help you realize the things in your life that need change. Let all your decisions be made out of love and be blessed by God as part of His will. May He catch your heart and meet you WHEREVER YOU ARE right now and break the chains of doubt and self-hate to complete your healing. Amen.


By the way, I look up now, and I am about to approach my train stop! I have 30 mins. left to get to the office and with conviction I say, I will make it. UPDATE: I did make it.

All in God’s glory.

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