Tag Archives: change

Yoko na bes: What to do when you find yourself in stressful situations

In a world of bills, responsibilities and “adulting”, stress unfortunately finds its way to us whether we like it or not! For the unlucky ones, stress begins on a Sunday night, at the mere thought of Monday fast approaching.

What is it with Monday anyway? Perhaps it means the end of a weekend filled with lounging around and ice cream. At the same time, Mondays open another series of weekly requirements that tax our bodies and spirit to deliver.

Stress could manifest itself differently in various scenarios too! For instance, have you ever experienced floating on top of a flamingo in the middle of nowhere? And suddenly finding yourself in deeper parts of the water, realizing you don’t know how to swim?14642114_10154408775376013_570608319105303780_n

Just kidding.

But reality speaking, stress could feel just like that. When you’re not familiar with the feeling of pressure, it’s easy to grab at straws and topple over.

Good news is that there’s a way to maneuver your way through stressful situations. Here are some things we could do:

1. LOVE MONDAYS – even more figuratively, this means we should love the things that we can’t control! For the longest time, I’ve been hearing people say “Monday nanaman bukas” dreadfully or “Hindi pa ako ready mag-monday!”. And honestly, I feel their alarm! It’s not something I’d want to overcome every week. So I tried to practice loving Mondays no matter the situation. And yes, even after long weekend vacations.

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By doing this, I was able to train my mind into thinking that I cannot stop Mondays from approaching. But I can change my attitude towards this phenomenon, which has successfully helped me a lot especially in my working days. Plus, setting your mind at the beginning of the week will help put you in the mood for the rest of the coming days!

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This point also applies to other things we can’t control. Like traffic, our monthly electricity bills (we can’t keep ’em from coming), the weather, etc. Instead of stressing so much on whether the party would push through or not because of a storm threat, by all means, re-schedule the event to dry seasons!

2. REACH OUT TO FRIENDS – ask help if you must! Nobody’s an island! Reach for your friend’s, family’s or colleague’s hands or scream if you must. The problem with people who break down due to stress is that they do not know how to delegate tasks so they could relieve himself of some of the pressure. For instance, group planning is an excellent way to move projects forward. But team leaders will subject themselves to stress if they hoard all of the responsibilities. Delegate and share the load with others!

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3. LEARN HOW TO DO THINGS (IMPROVE YOURSELF)

Ok, so you don’t know how to swim. Learn it! Did you know that about half of the things we don’t know, bring us stress! So the in-laws are coming over, and you don’t know how to cook? Learn it! The boss asks you to make a report on the economy, and you don’t know a shit? Research! You have to deliver a speech? Practice!

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Learn to navigate the things that you can control! We can learn things, practice, concentrate and nail whatever. By being knowledgeable, we become more in control in our lives. We become happier and stress-free!

Did this article stress you out? Share the pains in the comments!

*Photos from the web.

Familiarity breeds contempt

I’ve been hearing a lot about this cliche growing up, “Familiarity breeds contempt”, but I only get to understand it now as an adult. It’s such a touchy topic, which is a bit hurtful for some people because it speaks the awful truth about how anyone begins to belittle (look down on/lose respect for)  other people, a place or a company as time goes by. Or as they become more familiar with it/them.

For instance, when a boy and a girl meet, they celebrate in the beginning stages of a relationship. They send each other the corniest messages and surprise themselves with the most creative gifts and date ideas. Girls order salads and boys try their best not to fart (excuse the basic example). But as they become more familiar with each other’s reactions, they also tend to open up and be more accepting of each other’s moods and quirks. But sadly for some, it turns bad. Being extremely familiar with a person, or with the same things they do repeatedly over time, could sometimes cause boredom. And feeling this way also makes people lose interest in coming up with more ideas to please their partners.

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A couple in counseling

Another example would be for work. Some employees who have been with a company for so long tend to slack off more as compared to when they were new. New employees feel that they have something to prove while some of the more familiar employees tend to feel bored with what they do. Sleeping during office hours, taking long breaks and not finishing their tasks for a long time could be signs that they are feeling a sense of disdain for their work. No respect for their employers’ time and for their commitments.

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Is it something that’s bound to happen and cannot be stopped?

Well, as with all other feelings, people can’t stop themselves from feeling happy, angry or afraid. Just like boredom. It’s something bound to happen because an event triggered it. But just like any other feelings, it can be controlled. However, unlike any other feelings, it may or may NOT pass over time. People really have to do something about it. Controlling familiarity and/or boredom is especially tricky though. It will require a personal motivation before anyone could move out of it. If it doesn’t work, then an outside factor must be done to change it.

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In relationships, couples must learn to make an effort to think about each other’s interests. Dates must not stop and constant communication is always key to every relationship’s happiness. Of course, we cannot (or do not) want to change ourselves entirely just to please another, but it won’t hurt to constantly enjoy a new scenery, a new hair color or great set of new clothes. But most importantly, people must make the extra effort to change or control their negative reactions over things. Couples who fight all the time would eventually feel fed up by the lack of attempt to understand each other’s situations. Likewise, a person who cannot control temper could make him or her unlikable not just by one person but everyone. My personal advice for couples is this: travel together. It’s one activity that lets partners enjoy the company of each other in unfamiliar territory. The best thing about this is that they come home renewed and filled with memories they can always draw love and inspiration from.

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Employees who feel bored with work must constantly set goals for themselves to meet. They must learn to challenge themselves in order to escape the monotony. For those who already feel disgusted at what they do, waking up in the wee hours of dawn and coming home late at night feel that leaving them feeling drained all day every day is not healthy. Worse, it breeds contempt. It’s a more serious situation that requires a serious answer. Should you find a new job or not? Know that whichever decision people make, there would always be effects. If he chooses to leave, great. If he chooses to stay, then he is making a new commitment to make things better. Sometimes cleaning a workplace or changing the direction of the office table would do the trick.

The idea is change.

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Change is inevitable. And it’s life saving. Adding or subtracting things from your life could be a great start. The good news is that we can control that change we want for ourselves. It’s not something we’re just born with. So the smart thing to do is to use that privilege to disband any thoughts of contempt and focus on becoming a growing, improving person that we all deserve to be. Change makes people happy!

Stay happy! ♥ Jazzyhappy