In a quick google search I learned, that to be “Jowable” one must be able to know how to have fun, take good Instagram photos, and be a good conversationalist.
And we wonder why so many “jowable” men and women get hurt badly.
Imagine feeding this kind of information to your curious 13-year old kids who don’t know a thing yet about love and relationships?
When I was a kid myself (LOLOLOL), I used to look up to showbiz couples who seem to have everything good going on in their lives.
Felt kilig even to a point of wanting that same kind of relationship.
Until finally, when I entered my first relationship as a young adult, I thought to myself, “Why doesn’t it feel like the one I see in the movies?”
Where’s the slow motion effect with amazing cinematography? (Only Erwan could do that to Anne I guess, :p).
Point is, sometimes we think we know a lot based on what we see and hear on TV or online. And here’s where I hope to step in.
Dear little brothers and sisters, to my single friends, and to my son Zach,
“Don’t aim for jowable.”
Don’t aim to be just handsome or pretty externally. Or to have a lot of awards and be well-versed with words.
Looks and awards don’t mean you are qualified to be jowable, more so, become a jowa. Nor will it define yourself as a person.
Aim to be VALUABLE, instead.
- Remember who you are.
This isn’t some Jedi thing or rags to riches story. But we all have one genetic makeup when we are born.
And at this age, I advise that you desperately seek for that one solid truth that will help you understand your most important role in this life.
And that is, to become a valuable addition to anyone’s life.
Sometimes, when we feel like we’re in love, we lose ourselves to that feeling completely. We feel like giving our best, our all, our time, our effort.
Until one day, that feeling leaves us and we’re left thinking what on earth were we thinking?! ☺️
Nothing wrong with giving our all for love; if we truly know how to love. Because true love is not just about feelings. Mostly, it’s about commitment and action.
Want to prove that someone loves you?
Look for acts of love such as: Planning ahead. Staying (not ghosting). Intentionally cutting off communication with exes, staying true to one’s word, etc.
You would know when someone is truly loving you when he/she has that vision of a future and clear idea on how to get there – with you.
2. Be happily single first.
As in happy even if you have NO jowa.
Who you are today will determine what you will become tomorrow.
If even at the very beginning you’re already rude and resentful, what makes you think you will become an ideal husband or wife?
Focus on yourself first and outgrow those negative features. 😉
3. Serve with all your heart
No matter what season you are in right now – in school as a student, at the office as an employee, at home as a wife or a houseband, at work as a businessman, serve your community with pure intentions.
Never aim to scam anyone with words and deeds and all your heart’s desires will eventually be given to you.
Yes, (to the singles), even the wife or the husband you pray for.
4. Be gentle and kind
Gentleness and kindness are two things that will never fade. Even if beauty fades.
This also goes both ways, be gentle and kind to yourself and to others.
I learned this the hard way. And I admit I still struggle in this area of my life. But I have also accepted that heeding to this command will never be easy.
Because it’s not natural to think of others first. Have you considered it being supernatural instead? 😉
5. Welp here it is, LOVE GOD FIRST.
If we anchor our lives to God, nothing can break us. Not our jowas, not our husbands.
And while our young, rebellious hearts could not fathom the idea that he says NO to our current crushes because he’s protecting us, one day we’ll realize that he truly is.
Start talking to Him about your relationship plans today.
Again, to my SINGLE girl/boy friends, Zach, aim to be VALUABLE.
For my girl friends who JUST GOT MARRIED and wondering why you’re having a difficult time, here’s how to be wifeable (aka how to walk the wife path that God designed.)
My pahabol blog post for hearts month. 🙂
All these advise, are biblical based. 🙂 Even if you believe in God or not, or no matter which church you attend, nothing can change these truths. #trot
But fret not, if you are in a relationship right now, begin submitting it to God in your prayers, every day of your life.
Nothing’s too wrong, too broken, too late not to fix.