Should you really go and love yourself?

When we are full of ourselves, we miss God’s glory. But how could we tell if we are bound by something not pleasing to God when it looks so simple and harmless, and we do it every day?

As I write this, I wait for the train at the platform. An hour remains before I am considered late for work. Compared with any other day (from the start of the year at least) this has been the latest I’ve waited for the train to come. I usually hop on and get going by 7:30 AM.

What caused this slight time difference is maybe because of the morning ritual that I have at home. I spend more minutes trying to fix my appearance than taking a bath or setting the room because.. I don’t know! To please people I see on the road? To please me and gain false confidence? To.. please my husband? My workmates?

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I don’t know why I do it, but I have been bound by it for a long, long time. A decade’s worth that I am even willing to be late for the train than have no brows at all, which is entirely ridiculous because nobody has ever gone out of their way to say Hey! Your eyebrows look gorge today!

But on the other hand, people get recognized by their work, their manners, and their overall work ethics when they aim to arrive at work on time.

Yes, I dare say that coming to work on time is good manners just as dressing well and saying ‘please’ because it’s selfless. You decided to skip the meaningless ritual because people need you early. Work starts early and do we dare steal time from a company who put their trust in us?

This shoots off to even more significant decisions in life. Do we choose a home, a parking slot or a partner in life, based solely on our selfish ambitions?

“I want this home because it’s huge and I could have a large, soft, Instagram-worthy bed here.” Even if it’s a pain to get to.. or is too vast for you to maintain. Are you buying it for the family or only to fulfill a selfish want?

“I will park here because it’s convenient to me. When I’m just going to grab a cup of coffee.” Discounting the fact that you are healthy and able to walk. What if there are families who arrive with small kids and old people?

“I will marry this guy because he is so rich and cute and I would love to have him in selfies from now to forever. Not to mention, have all the Louboutins I want to my grave. Oh wait, I can’t cook, but it’s ok he loves me anyway.” Did we ever consider how he indeed is as a person? How and what could we give him to meet his needs in return? How come some rich and good-looking couples who marry end up divorced?

Even for men, do we court a woman because of our desire to fulfill our personal whims? We marry her no matter our bank savings. Even though we don’t have specific plans for growth? How about her needs?

The bible gave us a warning:

2 Timothy 3: 1-2

“But mark this: There will be terrible things in the last days.

People will be lovers of themselves.”

Friends, how much do we love ourselves compared to how much we love Jesus? I know I have loved myself too much for the longest time and I consider my husband and son as God’s way of directing my eyes away from myself and towards their needs.

Albeit not perfect and I struggle every day, I pray to God to convict my heart and reveal to me the things I do in vain and for selfish goals. He may grant me the wisdom and the humility to change what I can.

“So are you saying it’s EVIL to love myself and dream big for myself and achieve everything I want? Because I deserve it and I worked hard for it?”

No. But do not be deceived. Sometimes we get, sometimes we don’t. But consider everything we have as bestowed by God’s grace and blessings.

(REF: Philippians 2:3-4 and Psalm 34:7)

Have you thought about your family, friends, work, and workmates today? More deeply, have you given thought and prayer for the world today? How can we deny ourselves, have more of God in our lives, and be a blessing to others?

Let me pray for you: May God help you realize the things in your life that need change. Let all your decisions be made out of love and be blessed by God as part of His will. May He catch your heart and meet you WHEREVER YOU ARE right now and break the chains of doubt and self-hate to complete your healing. Amen.

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By the way, I look up now, and I am about to approach my train stop! I have 30 mins. left to get to the office and with conviction I say, I will make it. UPDATE: I did make it.

All in God’s glory.

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