This weekend, I had a 20-min. breakdown. With my 4-year old kid literally beside me. I’m thankful he was there because while I was screaming underneath the pillows and maybe banging myself on walls, he was just there, safe at a corner, laughing all throughout.

I was rampaging inside but his innocent mind thought I was having a comic performance. Finally, when it was over, I looked back and I can laugh at the whole situation.


I thought he didn’t know what was going on but while I was in between sobs, he ran out the room to fetch his lola and ratted me to her. “Crying” he said and pulled her into my room. Oh Zach! Thanks for laughing at meeee!

Since I rekindled my relationship with God, I felt joyful and powerful. But this situation right here is a reminder that we still struggle as humans. It’s difficult to choose spirituality over human desires – to rise above situations that stare blankly in the face.

I kept saying “I can’t take it anymore.” I’ve changed a lot since a few months back but this broken world keeps doing its thing. Faith is a daily exercise. Christianity is an everyday choice. And yes, the devil is twice as active in our lives. It doesn’t come easy – and for us to continue this walk, we’ll need all the support we could get.

I can only think of this lyrics by Hillsong’s “Oceans” on repeat,

“Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior”


I guess I’d like to reach out to struggling Christians out there. You are not alone. Yes, there may be difficult people who are yet to be caught by Christ. There will be difficult situations as well. But I pray, that in our daily devotions, we grow roots deeper in faith in Jesus Christ. No turning back on this one.

There may be downtime, but trust in His promise:

Psalm 34:17-20

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.

Also, for the devil, don’t think we don’t have the power over him.

James 4:7

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

May God’s spirit lift us up today and every day. 🙂

♥ Jazz

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